Wrong time. Wrong Place

Wrong time. Wrong place. I have heard it before but never understood how a different time or place would make a difference. I mean a year from now I will still be me so if a relationship isn't working now how would some thing so simple change that? I do not have an answer to that question but I finally understand. The place we were in together was crippling us. Now that he is out of my house I have to say we are just as happy as we were when we first met when every thing was so exciting and new. I have been spending a lot of time away from my house and I feel relieved. Never before did I think 4 walls could hold you down in till now. I am happy to say we have found what we needed to make both of us happy. Not only have we opened our eyes to what was going on but now we do not have the same 4 walls caving in on us.

Soul mates. Fact or Fiction?

Despite my situation I will always believe that every one has a soul mate. My question is however what if you have a soul mate and you loose him/her? I feel I have found the man of my dreams the one I could spend my life with but some where when life was happening we lost track of each other and the relationship lost its meaning in all of that. Life happens and no matter what we can't prevent it from continue to move as much as you want to stay in a moment. So easily are we able to miss out on things because we tell our self it will be there tomorrow. Months ago any one could look at us and be sickened by our unconditional love. We were picture perfect. As life keeps moving and we become even more comfortable with each other and living together things changed. Of course it always begins with the little things and as a women I sort of giggled and reasoned it as him being comfortable with him self around me. More and more the home that I now share with him becomes him and things start getting pushed to the side lines. This I didn't realize till today. As I sit, in what was once "our" room where his stuff was tied in with mine, alone. To us there was always tomorrow to go on that long over due date and get out of the house where more and more became the walls I was constantly surrounded by. After the break up, the yelling, the crying, and the shock that your other half is gone my phone rings. Did it take all of this for a relationship to be fixed? Or once a relationship is this far broken repairing it is no longer an option? Regardless of my day, or even the past weeks I still feel I have found my soul mate. Now the question is he lost forever? Did I loose that once we lost track? Or is the idea of a soul mate some thing made up to make us feel better when we are alone, to give us assurance that some day we will meet that one that will love us for ever?

The Break up

Once again I am going through a break up and I as getting advice from a very wise women a thought crosses my mind. She tells me that a relationship takes you to put in all you have when you can so its there to draw on when you need it like a bank account. This is an analogy I have never heard before but makes perfect since. Each person in a relationship deposits (gives to) into the bank (relationship) and when needed we make withdraws. It makes perfect since to me. However this relationship at hand when I really need to make a withdraw from it and he had emptied the account and still wanted me to make deposits. As this conversation goes on she tells me it is time for me to find a new bank with better interested. I however am not ready for that. I need time for me. To figure out myself all over again and work on me. Which comes me point. How come after every relationship women feel as if they need to work on them self? How is it after a relationship ends we become broken and need to put the pieces together before we can go on to the next relationship? As another chapter ends I now need to recreate me and remember me before I was an us.